Tits and vagina’ll get you farther…

Well, you heard it here first: tits and vagina will get you farther than cock and balls. Those were the magic words that started my first hitchhiking adventure. But I’m getting ahead of the story.

After assembling myself somewhat in Auckland, it was time to travel on to my first Workaway. The farm I was going to work on is Whangateau, just north of Auckland, kinda in the middle of nowhere. No buses go there of course, they go to Matakana, which is just below it. I could either take four buses that connected immediately, or two with an hour and a half in between. Because of the time, neither option was practical, so I decided to take one bus up to Warkworth and then take an Uber (or Ola as it’s called here) to Matakana, where Audrey, my hostess, would pick me up. Of course there’s loads of Ola’s in Auckland and none in Warkworth. There I was, with all my stuff and two Frenchmen who had come off the same bus. The Frenchmen were being picked up right there so, in the spirt of backpackers everywhere, I asked their driver which direction they were heading? The other direction of course. He was very helpful though and adviced me to just go hitchhike to Matakana. Seeing my face he assured me it would be really easy if I went to stand at a particular bend in the road and also because I was a chick. The greasy old man standing behind us piped up in that moment to share the eternal wisdom: ‘Tits and vagina’ll get you farther than cock and balls these days’ before driving off.

Right. After being told to watch out who I got into a car with (so not those kind of geezers) the French drove away and I set off for the bend. I could always try it, right? If it didn’t work out there would still be a bus in an hour. I felt like an idiot with my thumb out at first, but wouldn’t you know! A car actually stopped! And there were normal people in it! It was only a short drive to Matakana from there, where Audrey picked me up.

The farm itself is amazing. It’s a collection of small buildings with a huge amount of land around it. In thirty years Audrey has managed to let a little jungle grow. Half overgrown paths connected different gardens and near the buildings are several herb gardens and a plant nursery. I mostly help out with the gardens, but on my first day I had to help shift some firewood and I can still feel it.

That said, I’ve been in New Zealand for a week now! I haven’t been kidnapped, am healthy and get good food, so don’t worry about me. When something interesting happens I’ll write again!

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